If he forgave you, then it sounds like he accepted that it was a mistake, that you won't do it again and has moved on. Alcohol was a factor, but all it did was bring to the surface the feelings that were already there. When I was in college, I cheated on a bf while I was drunk not because I was drunk, but because I was presented with the opportunity and I wanted wanted to do it. The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology, The Power of a Dream: The Customs Inspector, 3 High-Risk Relationship Concerns No Couple Should Ignore, Eliminating Guilt, Shame, Regret, and Worry, Protecting the Innocent: The Cognitive Context of Guilt, How to Deal with Breakup Guilt in a Healthy Way. Why stab your partner in the heart, just to see if the relationship will still survive? A female friend of mine was staying at our house for the weekend. We've not made it exclusive yet but we did agree to not see other people at the beginning. You want me to go on a comma and replace her. The way it happened-not so good! He has morals. Your Drinking Behaviour. drunk, kissing. When I woke up yesterday I still felt drunk but the reality of what happened hit me like a tonne of bricks. WORK. Yes, that's what I was going to advise - that you two continue any discussion on LG's own thread. I said to my husband, I have something to tell you, but I dont know how to say it.. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. Drop it in CASUALLY, as part of general chit-chat, like it's no big thing (because if it's no biggie to you then that must mean it isn't and wasn't any threat to him), and in such a way as draws similarities with his own past incident. Right,undoubtedly you didn't say what Tillybops wanted to hear. He said I was a person and offered to ride me home. For me infidelity is a deal breaker I don't care what the circumstances were. Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk My Girlfriend Kissed Another Guy whilst Black-Out Drunk. I dont drink, but had i been drinking i would have chosen home is the best place to be vulnerable lol! We started kissing again and he took my T shirt off and I briefly started kissing his body. Scopes: okay, although the whole point of forums is [1] that they're anonymous and [2] people's problems aren't ever remotely unique enough for the poster not to potentially be literally from anywhere in the world thus unidentifiable. I told him later that I thought it was misunderstood and apologized. I feel horrible. They say don't tell the wife or husband about the infidelity, because it would cause more hurt. So, you went to a party and everyone was drinking. The short answer to your question, for this BPD is: No, I don't feel guilty. If you feel like this about yourself then you may be worrying about what he will do while he's at university. Add your answer to this question! Social media, the Internet, texting and so on. Hence - two aims for the price of one act: psychological fertility treatment + attention and affection. stop any contact (outside of work) immediately. If you want a relationship then be ready to be trustworthy. Not Opening Up To You Anymore I could go on about a lot of things here. My girlfriend(Cintia), me and my best friends girlfriend (called Mercy). No matter how much we insist that "it's all good, bro, we're like, totally homies!", we don't mean it, not really. If a man or woman were genuine in asking for forgiveness. I like him so so much and I know I was just being drunk and ****. I'm taking it day by day. reader, Ellis Mac+, writes (25 October 2005): A female Tico Franklin, now 40, faced the death . Before delving into my own personal story, Id like to address this subject generally. The Bedford man accused of killing another after an argument April 24, 2021, pleaded guilty Friday to third-degree murder, his attorney Dan Kiss said. If you want to know the why's, you're going to have to be willing to hear the darkest part of what makes me, ME. (although, I'm not sure how this counts as a debate if you and I are in total agreement, lol). Now then,you and hubby should do some summer travel. female I think a real man actually kisses a dude at least once to really know your sexuality, one says. Yes it hurts.. This is what I'd do because my relationship with my husband is stellar and we both want to keep it that way, and it's such precisely BECAUSE we're this 24/7 honest and transparent with each other (Speak-Your-Thoughts machines). The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. Lets get down to the basics here. (PS: These 'recent issues' of yours. My piano teacher didnt behave like his normal, reserved self and he made suggestive comments to me. But we have spoken since about it a lot. Im a guy and i had sex with my guy bestfriend drunk. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. He deserves the right to make the decision on whether he can forgive you and move on with you. All of sudden my guy friend stopped texting me good morning and good night Im a guy and i had sex with my guy bestfriend drunk. Having eyes for someone else while you're married is seen to be wildly inappropriate. Old Medication, New Use: Can Prazosin Curb Drinking? For the last two years have read a lot about infidelity. Ashley Madison helped things along with extramarital affairs. I see this as two issues. When my husband came home, he could tell right away that I had been drinking. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do . Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. I get the whole 'not wanting to hurt him' thing but, to some people at least, a kiss is very much cheating and so the SO deserves to know what happened right? ;-)) Wow! I wasn't there but news travelled fast and I knew about it through friends by the next morning. SOULMATE is totally right and we all know it. It's where the lips have been and where they're going. If you both agreed not to see anyone else, how is that not exclusive? Guilt occurs primarily in interpersonal contexts and is considered a "pro-social" emotion because it helps you maintain good relations with others. i think OP is using 'kiss' to mean 'more than kiss', but whatever, it was 4 years ago in a rough patch.. everyone here is wrong. He is my workmate also. Did You Know Anxiety Can Enhance Our Relationships? Almost a year ago I began university, my boyfriend and I decided we would do long distance and we are still together now. Im guessing that theres a good chance you would have gone all the way if the piano teacher had gone for it. I like the soft smooth touch of a woman and her sexy smell while iam kissing her with passion, if there is a romantic connection it's even better. I'm trying - with the utmost seriousness and sincerity - to advise you to keep your relationship rap-sheet completely squeaky clean. So she left after a couple of replies. It felt so wrong and taboo yet so erotic and a sort of thrilling jealousy! This of course over a year ago. I am the nicest person on earth and so is my boyfriend. The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. We may share information about your use of our site with trusted advertising and analytics partners. It happened two days ago. You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. (y) Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk or get the other person drunk in order to find out if they have any chemistry with each other, and they temporarily forget about the fact that they are already in a relationship with another person. This recently happened to me. I think they all count as cheating and I'm not sure it's necessary to make a distinction. Do you think it's better to alleviate your guilt by hurting someone you loved or better to just deal with it on your own? And, of course, cheating always tends to increase during a recession. What are you going to do, then? Make lemonade out of them. You came to your sences and stopped this from going any farther. You're going through tests BY OTHERS to find out why you can't fall pregnant. I totally regret my actions and cannot bear to tell my boyfriend. You can keep quiet and resolve never to do this again. My wife left me because I had become emotionally unavailable. Arun, I agree with everything you said here because I was guilty of kissing a guy I liked when I was drunk, knowing that I liked him and wanted to see how much.". Maybe she was experimenting or it was something shed thought about and wanted to see what it felt like. My SO and I had been dating two years. Carl Jung said that if you're dreaming of a stranger of the opposite sex, it usually means your psyche is tapping into your inner man or inner woman. My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. You had too much to drink and you kissed someone who wasnt your boyfriend or your girlfriend. That is what separates the women from the girls. Where were you hiding it - up your sleeve? Itachi, Lees theory can backfire, especially if the person really believes you are talking about someone else and then he/she finds out you are talking about someone that YOU did. One day, he came over with a bottle of whisky and he had already been drinking. However most people don't have a commitment that SOULMATE has with her husband that they will be 100% Honest with each other NO MATTER WHAT! If you kissed a stranger while you were drunk, dont worry about it. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Psychology and the Mystery of the "Poisoned" Schoolgirls. I love him so much and feel totally ashamed at what happened over the weekend in what was a drunken moment at at a party.I got drunk and kissed another boy. So what do you think? [4] WHY would you have kept it secret? Then I ordered taxis, woke up the other girl and we left. I guess kissing another when married, with or without the other knowing about it is a sore subject. Or do I? I did say gateway to sex at first didn't I. It didn't feel real. When you conclude that your guilt is sending you an incorrect message, label your guilt as a false alarm, ignore it as best you can and make a fresh . But for me, it was. :-*. It sounds simple, but if you think you know how to apologize effectively, you are likely wrong. You confessed your sins. he said if i started making out with another girl, hed be into it, but if i started getting carried away and disappearing with This guy wouldnt take money from me (I should have seen this as a Red Flag, but didnt), so I bought him opera scores in order to compensate him for his time and expertise. FoxieLadie is Three women and one guy went back. female I have to admire the guy for realizing that he was putting a marriage at risk, and backed away. Personally I don't believe in marriage. If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. However, the fact that you kissed another guy can act as a trigger for him to think negatively of you. But you can control whether you nurture the crush or acknowledge it and move on. ;-p By having a relationship with someone else and then just disappearing off it made things so much more complex for me, him and particularly the DC. What am I going to do? So it looks as if we're suddenly at crossed-purposes, then. Try to channel the guilt into something good, into turning your back on temptation and having a good night out with your friends. , By entering this site you declare You were no exception. That was crazy' and other awkward things. If, on the other hand, you kissed someone whom you knew or someone your significant other believes youve always liked, and then you confess that you kissed him or her, your actions could have major consequences for your relationship Why? It's good you feel guilty, that means your not cheating pond scum. Answer (1 of 7): As you have not mentioned your gender, i am assuming you are a girl. Kissed someone on vakation while drunk, cheating or not? I've been Dating a married Albanian man for 6 months already and NOT proud of it.Just wanna share my, Hurt my ex girlfriend, feel guilty and don't know what to do. I am heartbroken but told him I understand that I couldnt be with someone who doesnt trust me. I had had an argument with my fianc because I found a suspicious text from a woman , he became very mad . if you believe you have to tell him exactly as you did here , if your friends you were with are also his say he can ask them . I believe that over time this would have happened with or without the wiskey. Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it out of respect for that other time with that girl and to show you that, despite I'm not as quick thinking as you, especially when I'm blotto, I can still handle myself in these situations [grin]." / Houston, turns out I/you/I+You can't have kids the natural way after all, which is no-one's fault; let's try IVF / adopt / foster / console ourselves with the fact we'll always have each other, and the babies of people we know to borrow, and the freedom and greater financial means to please ourselves. I feel so bad since then. I am a good person and have never done anything like this before. Why? I thanked him for telling me this and we didnt speak to one another for years. Spoiler alert: Not that different from kissing a girl, only they dont fancy them. Lee, thats a good way to CYA - pretend youre talking about this as if it happened to someone else and then gauge your partners reaction. Most people don't confess- You ask for advice of what you should do- you got the RIGHT advice. She has just sent a private message to him on FB. this guy only tried to kiss you so as far as you cheating on him there is no and your appropriate response was toback away and leave the guy standing. The caller wasn't experienced (like me). But we can get through it together if you are truley remoreseful. I always prefer to know if something is going on than find out about it later, or worse, never find out at all (the idea of this chills me). :-)), SOULMATE: Meant as in the universe of sisterhood (wrongly) To award Biggest B*lls on the Block Award -comment never was to imply same race- so on behalf of the Academy I accept :), (Good stuff. But maybe I should have My thoughts are that he has been persuing her. (That'll do me nicely! Yes Im addiction there are things called SUDs.. He's seemingly petrified I'm going to throw him out, he's cried three times today already and they're only the second time I've ever seen him cry in four years. Youre just using the fact that you were drunk as an excuse. Me, I can't believe committing adultery isn't an actual crime yet. I think your just another female using your man until a better option comes along your husband should dump you because one of these days your going dump him if he doesnt. What!! A guy bought me drinks and he asked me if I wanted to ride his motorcycle to another bar and I did. It's not that big of a deal anyway and you aren't going to do it again. I went to a party with friends last night and I kissed someone.. You do risk upset feelings as a consequence. Kissing is the gateway to sex or part of sex. I am 100% sure he will forgive you and will love you even more for telling him (which you should have done A LONG TIME AGO). i asked him how he'd feel if i went and made out with another man in front of him. One is your marriage, the other is a relationship with a married man with family. Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. Press J to jump to the feed. Take it away, expand if you please! Okay. ;-)). Weve probably all known silly drunks, mean drunks and people who simply couldnt hold their liquor and vomited all over the place. he said the situations arent at all the same bc he doesnt feel turned on by me kissing another guy the way i do from a male on male kiss. I can't get into his FB directly but I accessed his hotmail and read the notification. female :-). DON'T: Kiss and tell to someone you're kissing. So you went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your already Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" I'm 5 years married to my best friend. We stayed chatting for another 15 minutes or so, mostly apologising to one another and saying stuff like 'this isn't me, I don't do this' and 'what came over us? Buster was in law school Buster Murdaugh, left, and his girlfriend Brooklynn White watch a video clip from Buster's brother Paul's phone in the double murder trial of Alex Murdaugh at the Colleton . Since he felt there was an attraction with you two. I dont want him to be thinking that I am a cheat. I'm not sure if you are trying to be helpful, or just entertaining yourself with your responses. The drunk part won't matter to him because his mind will only think about the kiss. We were not drunk. Ill bet you got drunk on purpose because you wanted to kiss him/her.. That is what separates the women from the girls.
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