I can relate to nearly everyones pain, grief and hopelessness. Thank you for sharing, Its been 2 years and tomorrow 1 month. She was still in very good condition for her age. As time moves further into the future, I find my grief is actually getting worse! I became numb, I spent the next 2 years struggling with the loss. (His name was Jackie) I have not had one good day. Approaching the second year of losing my 47 yo husband to Cancer. Im coming up on 2 years in April. My baby girl passed away 6 months later. Im in a slump dont wont go out or visit. Its somehow soothing to see some of my blurry thoughts in writing. Im trying to deal every day and some are better than others. I became a widow 25 months ago. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. Im sure that everyone on here can relate to that moment. Everyone learns to readjust to it just being us that arrives for get together Some relationships didnt make it. Xmas . I was absolutely devastated. Only people whove dealt with a difficult loss can truly be empathetic and understanding. I got through the first year because of being the only one that could handle all of the problems and stuff that takes place after the bread winner passes suddenly. thought in his body. My prayers go out for all the ones who have lost a loved one. It seem to get relief then it always comes back around. Just stay out of my life Im going to do what I want to do I am in love I am happy he loves me just leave me alone and let me have a life. I dont have any words of advicejust know that I care that youre having a hard time. But those grief waves keep on coming when you dont expect them. They may not even be pearls, but something beautiful and shining, lovely days to counteract the darkness. Some are just better than others. This happen to me. Dear Everyone who is suffering and grieving a lossI hear and feel your pain and suffering. The reason I say this is that he was 80 years old had a good life and I am not on my own as I have a wonderful husband and yet the tears still flow. God the pain is excruciating , even to bring my mind back, which I dont do, I feel like I am looking in a glass window at myself, doing all the things I have to do and only those things. They're what's come to be known as long-haulers in a pandemic that's killing about 2,500 Americans a day as case numbers soar from coast to coast. It has been 6 months since the first dog's death, Nugget. Talk about him, laugh about him. Grief in year 2 for my mother which is very difficult, and is equally difficult grieving for my gr-mother. We talked about everything. Especially the what ifs and could I have done more for him and remembering his courage during cancer treatment even at the time of his passing. love you. I was her caregiver for her last six months. They are blessings. Amber whatever you do.dont blame yourself no one knows how they would respond in a traumatic situation. I now regret it because little did I know he was grieving also, but I never knew because he was being strong for me. Those kinds of moments are among the hardest because they bring us face-to-face with our new reality by reminding us of how much we miss the profound bond of love that we experienced in doing the simplest things together. Thank you, Kathy..I am so sorry your husbands life ended so needlessly.I would like to think your hubbys buddy is resting with him.my Katie ..my beautiful hound died 7 months after my hubby died and I KNOW she went to be with him..my 17 year old cat died one month before my hubby.so I do imagine them all together..keep strongthinking of you..hugs. It was almost like they are just now remembering or being affected again. I am now 23 and I can assure you that the pain never goes away. I lost my forever unexpectedly 19 month ago, after 32 years of marriage. We had a great marriage and we were grateful for all the years we had. wow. I watched his body deteriorate over the next 8 months, and I was at his bedside when he passed. My heart is breaking. I have have no words to describe the pain, anybody that is reading this, is reading for a reason, because sadly we are all grieving. You said it for me. creating an adult coloring book with his images that I will share with the world soon. I am an unmarried single man of 46 years Mum lived with me. We were I am heart broken but as a lot of you have mentioned, it is just a different life of getting used to breathing and coping on my own.. There are times when sheer terror for my future without her just paralyzes me. I lost my mum 13 months ago. Barbara- I hear and feel you loud and clear. As far as these holidays coming up, i dont know how to get thru these,,,i feel time flying by as far as missing out, and yet its also dragging when it comes to healing. Praying for peace. I cant see how to live like this; no future. Grief counselling for me in next 3m which helped build confidence. I feel like you, a lot of my fears are gone. Its been two years as of June 2 that I lost my husband, soulmate and best friend. I really dont like others to judge. Technology is cruel, live pictures and videos make you see people in the past that once were eating dinner, and are now ashes on an urn. All this frustrates me on top of everything else. Ive been struggling but its been manageable. Keep the cat 's routine the same. I am English but have a wonderful friend in Alabama also a widow . Im so sorry. Im truly sorry for every one of your losses. Then she was born. After 1.5 years, I have yet to accept the finality of his death and keep expecting him to come back. I just want him back. Im carrying my grief alone, with friends that will never understand the pain, and a sister that is suffering just as much as me. Do I really like this person. I woke up every morning, fed my children, got them to school, then returned home and curled up in bed. As I saw him as a father, I now, looking back, think I was rather selfish and am full of remorse. He was the most funny outgoing person in my life and I miss everything about him. im old hahahaha YouTube A body from the Dyatlov Pass incident. I think I am depressed but dont want drugs. At least we always made sure to tell each or other I love you before we parted on the phone or in person.And although there was a bit of a gap between us they were there for every stage of my life as a baby they helped my mom with me not because they had to no they wanted to,as a child they were my heros then as time went on the feeling was mutual and a bond grew Christmas, Easter, my birthday, and now most recently we just suffered a loss five days ago, Thanksgiving, the last holiday not colored by the death of someone special to me. Hi. Life is not stagnant. We get together once or twice a week and have made no plans for a future together. The lord has a better plan for me. It was such an intense time I was caring for her at nights and weekends and working full time during the day. As for dealing with the every day pain, I will share a story from my life that gets me through it: I have a very low pain threshold. Nothing seems to bring us any comfort or happiness. Ive hardened, refusing to be let hurt again. I know now that he is not coming back I will not be able to hug him again or have our nightly conversations before bed. My spouse passed away a limitless more than year ago . First year, I got through, thinking 2nd year will be better looking at my 3rd holiday season without him He was doing well until a infection set in eventually going to his brain. I feel as though Im nothing. Your skin loses its moisture and its elasticity, so it shrivels up a bit. What is more suffering compared to what I have lost? He had 8 siblings, which were a tremendous help while he was sick. For those 7 years since you passed away I've missed your voice, your hugs, your laugh and your face. But I loved you, and always will. He had lung cancer but had been ill for years and I cared for him all that time . The last time I rubbed his arm and told him mom and I are here. Fathers day. I still fill the need to call her sometimes. I still cry most days and miss him more than words can say. I miss you so much. It was the hardest Xmas every. One day at a time I am so apologetic for your loss sweetheart, Hi Holly And, cry most of the time. I am 55 I just cant go on therapy does not help I pray to God to take me and let someone else live. And amid the lessening, there are still periods where you feel as though its the 2nd month all over again. And all you can do is float. Im at 15 months 8 days and Ive become a day counter, as if theres some magic milestone I need to reach. I know I dont want to live like this for any length of time anymore. Am I alone feeling like this? Worse even if you can believe it. At 66 tomorrow, birthday week for both of us. Especially when retirement is in the near future. He came home after his wife treated him terrible and would not look after him. i have faith it will get easier somehow.but in that each of our circumstances are different, i just felt the need to feel sori for myself a minute. I lost my husband 2 years ago suddenly and left behind with 2 young children. Still, I never felt more alone. The pain never goes away. It is very hard, being the eldest, the expectations and the norm of just dealing with parents grief is heart breaking. She died of complications from a routine surgery, and from the time I took her to the ER until she died it was only 2 weeks. Warning: If the Start_date is greater than the End_date, the result will be #NUM!. This pain is not forever. Freind I have no interest in life. I lost my husband of 46 years , on our anniversary, just wam, bam out of the blue in summer of 2016. The short answer is no. It is almost relieving to have a physical representation of what is occurring on the inside. I too have a friend that Ive known for over 40 years. Instead of it being sharp its full and aching. I wont do away with myself, but hope someday soon, it will be over. Now feeling that most of life does not fit me any longer: not my clothes, my town, my friends, my houseeverything seems empty on the bad days. Most I am more alone in Han ever except for me little gang of adorable dogs. Christmas, new year and my birthday went and she was still in coma. She never loved anyone like I did my husband, and cannot fathom why I am still grieving after all he was a very sick man and he just couldnt have lasted longer. I long everyday for my husband. Try not to constantly think of your sadness. We are all torn apart. Everyone says things happen for a reason but I cant find a good reason, there is no good reason. Now someone has died on every major holiday. Our marriage wasnt perfect but we worked through all our problems and we loved each other more now then when we first said I do. I met my husband at 16 years old married at 18, we were married 41 1/2 years. I new I had to cope for them and my own sanerty. He was sick for over ten years and he was the one who kept my spirits going. The numbness is gone and reality is now setting in. Then Ovarian Cancer stage 3 came knocking on our door to become part of our life for the following two and a half years then took my love away. I pray daily for all who mourn the death of a loved one or pet, O my, thankyou. But I never did. "Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, may looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.". Or maybe its because the more time passes, the longer weve had to live without that person. The 2nd year was worse. I know the feeling Angie I myself am constantly weeping and unbearably sad. It was 5 months ago today when it was the sad passing of Queen Elizabeth II. I lost my husband and best friend Aug. 30th 2017. I feel that while I will always miss my best friend and suffer great loss and sadness over her death, this home is a tomb of artifacts for me. Im not that lucky have no living relatives .just my my cats..some months the other person i talk with is my doctors..and go weeks setting in the house watching tv or looking out the window. Since then two brothers mysteriously passed away and countless others have been attacked and rob or both. After Losing the Love of My Life, I'm Dating for the First Time in Decades. When we finished, I went to my studio to work for a couple hours. To say I miss him, cant never give me the We lived together 47 years and were married for 43. Holly. If you're a painter, sculptor, or woodworker, create something each year. My mother passed away October 2018. It isnt any easier if it happens early or later than anticipated. Im so sorry I cried reading that ,,,my dads nane was Harry and my mom is still broken hearted two years later ,they were married 72 years ,,,I lost my husband to cancer two years ago I know how you feel ,,Im convinced a piece of my heart is broke, Denise my mom passed away 2nd Feb 2018 she was 81 I lived with my mom Im 50 we talked about everything as well she was so easy to talk to I loved her so much losing mom has broke my heart Im in the house alone now mom had lived there 48 years. We had 36 wonderful yeayears. Please dont do that. TERRI..It is 13 months and 20 days since my soul mate died..yesterday in work I felt truly happy for the first time since he died..it is 10pm today and the whole day has bee one of the worst..I have two dogs so I hide away ..put my head down on my arms and cry so they cant hear me.I work full time so am OK in work but I am so lonely without him..my children are interstate..along with my bestie of 50 years.I have no close friends outside of work..I make an effort to go out and socialize but am surrounded by couples..so come home as I miss him even more..if it werent for my two dogs I wouldnt be hereI dont know how much longer I can live live thisI have told no ome else how close I am to ending my own life..this lasses but right now the urge is overwhelming me..thanks for reading..if you doI am writing to you as you have the most recent post.. Ann.. Its just that sometimes a song, a memory, or something someone says rips it open again, and you have to let all the emotions out so you can heal again. I feel disconnected most of the time but I am getting glimpses of myself outside of grief or with making friends with my grief and my life. I lost my dh 1 year 10m ago too. It works. It is now over a year, I have dear friends, do many things like tennis and bridge, but cooking, eating and sleeping alone is torture. I havent decided if thats true or not yet. They say time is a great healer but somehow it does not seem to be. I have maintained same treatment for 1 year longer than we were together. I am an adult orphan now. Please, be sure and drink plenty of water and eat some. Im sorry. (Yes, I know, 14 months is not enough time, but this grievers-purgatory, if you will, is mentally exhausting.). I would be very grateful. But this Thanksgiving and Christmas is much harder without him. I thank you so much for sharing. They may not even be pearls, but something beautiful and shining, lovely days to counteract the darkness. I hope that your grief process will ease very soon for you. Some days I just find it impossible to even tackle housework having that cant be bothered feeling and only going out to do the weekly shop. We were told of the poor prognosis but we soldiered on and thought she would somehow wake up and get better. I lost my beautiful wife to colorectal cancer on Valentines Day 2020. I lost my mother, almost two years ago. I know Im late to this post but I lost my husband six months ago. I cry everyday and into the night, have no interest or desire to engage with other people, and I miss him so That was September 2013. I hope that I can continue to heal for both our sakes. Im in very very poor health maybe my wish will come true and i can join my wife again. My husband fought so hard for us. But Im thankful I have had someone in my life that has meant so much that Im devasted not to be with him right now. I know how you feel. Now, I dont cry as often. I dove into I have found the experience to be brutal, stripping, sapping, and completely devastating. I feel for all of you so much. I did not understand that we had such a deeper connection than others may have. l lost my life wife of 52 years 11 months ago after a long battle from heart disease for fifteen years she fought to stay by my side but the battle was to hard ,l feel so lost with out her some days are worst than others ,lonely nights . We would have had 28 years together next month. Javier Zarracina/Vox. Dad has passed 18 mths now. Any advise? I suggest a book by Megan Devine called Its Ok That Youre Not Ok. Blessings to each of you on your journey. Though there is one other Uncle, brother of my Mums, he lives in rural Ireland, only has a land line phone, has ongoing mental health conditions. Im just so heavy hearted hearing everyones stories. Please believe me I feel your pain but my husband and I have a legacy and I am responsible to carry is on until its my time and I plan to do exactly that. After I woke up from my overdose, I went through intense counseling. Wow. "Love grows more tremendously full, swift, poignant, as the years multiply" - Zane Grey. I sat with her for a week in palliative care, with my dad. I have moments of happiness with my grandkids, but when they go home and Im alone, I just want to disappear. My daughter is 15. The heavy chemo treatments, drs appts, etc left me so overwhelmed at the end.
